Your boyfriend is not your “friend.”
I was always told to be a great boyfriendΒ you must be a great friend first. I thought they wereΒ right. As I aged, it realized the way you treat your man shouldn’t be the way you treat your friends, right?
The truth is single people need to stopΒ shopping for boyfriends like weΒ shop for friends. They’re not the same! While our lovers become our best friends over time, at the end of the day our friends are our friends, and our boyfriend is our boyfriend. Once we start treating one like the other, we end up in the friend zone, or in an awkward situation.
A boyfriend should be ourΒ best friend, but itβs not the same kind of relationship we have with our platonic best friends. AΒ boyfriend is aΒ lover and partner first and foremost.
So many gay guys think of relationships like aΒ Hallmark movie. We see images of couples hanging out on the couch watching Netflix, eating brunch together, walking their dog, etc., and we believe these are the only requirements for a healthy relationship. But think about it: You can do all that with a friend.
Related:Β 9 Reasons Foreign Men Make Marvelous Boyfriends
Itβs not the companionship you want from a lover; it’s the intimacy.
Treating your boyfriend as a friend is a mistake many single people make, and it’s the main reason they end up in the friend zone. An intimate relationship shouldn’t have the same rules as platonic relationships, yet for whatever reason we think the best way to a man’s heart is by being hisΒ friend.
But the more we lead with the “Friend Card”, the more likely we end up in the “Friend Zone.”
If you want a man to be your lover, you shouldn’t treat him as a friend in the beginning. He needs to see your vulnerable side, not your “I’m down with everything, bro!” kinda side. A boyfriend requires us to let our guard down and connect while a friend is a haven for us to let loose and vent.Β You’ll be able to do this with your boyfriend eventually, but at the beginning, you need to connect like lovers βΒ not like besties.
Maintaining a relationship with a lover requiresΒ you’re all, which is different from maintaining friendships. Friends need love, trust and respect, which is fabulous, and partners wantΒ all of that too, but they also require our hearts.