Pride Month is like queer Christmas, minus the stress of gift wrapping and plus a whole lot more thigh. Whether you’re a Pride first-timer or a seasoned veteran with fan-snapping wrist strength, you need to be prepared. And what better way than with the ultimate Pride Month Starter Kit?
Here’s everything you actually need to serve face, protect your phone, flirt with your ex, and make it to July with glitter still in your scalp.
1. Glitter, But Make It Biodegradable
We love the planet almost as much as we love looking fabulous, so please make your sparkle sustainable. Biodegradable glitter is the way to go, because the only thing toxic at Pride should be your ex’s texts.
2. Jean Overalls
Summer’s here, and the flannels have been laid to rest. Enter: the timeless lesbian classic, jean overalls with a crisp white or black tee underneath. Functional, flirtatious, and with just enough side gap to get a sunburn on your ribcage. We love a seasonal switch-up.
3. A Fan That Snaps Louder Than Your Ex’s Apologies
You’re not at Pride unless you’re dramatically snapping open a folding fan every time someone dares to block your breeze. Bonus points if it says “WERK,” “HOT MESS,” or “NO THANKS.” Shade isn’t just encouraged, it’s tradition.
4. A Grindr Premium Subscription
Pride is Grindr’s Super Bowl. Go ahead and unlock that premium for the weekend, you deserve it. Who needs a map when you can see who’s three feet away, shirtless, and “looking”? Remember to hydrate before you misbehave.
5. Poppers (For When the Beat, and the Boys, Drop)
Yes, darling, we went there. If you’re entering a dark room, dancing in a sweaty crowd, or just need a sudden personality reset, poppers are practically Pride cologne. Just remember: not all nostrils were created equal. Sniff responsibly.
6. Your Chosen Family
More important than any crop top or glitter bomb is the crew you roll with. Whether it’s your ride-or-die queer besties, your drag mom, or your favorite chaotic cousin, Pride is best served with people who get you and won’t judge you for crying during Robyn.
7. A Signature Look™️
This isn’t the time to blend in. Think rhinestones, mesh, booty shorts, and body glitter. Or if that’s not your vibe, go full cottagecore lesbian or queer-coded anime villain. The assignment is: Be seen from space.
8. Your Favorite Diva Repped Proudly on a Cropped T-Shirt
Whether it’s Beyoncé, Gaga, Ariana, Cher, or a deep-cut Mariah moment, your diva allegiance must be made known. Bonus points if it’s a bootleg tee from Etsy that says “Mother” in bold font across the chest. Respect your elders.
9. Crossbody Bag That Says “Try Me, Thief”
Look, we love a tiny short with no pockets. But shady characters love them even more. Pride events are packed, and the last thing you want is to realize your phone’s gone right after sending a risky text to your situationship. A secure, zipped, crossbody bag is cute and practical. Slay, but safely.
10. A Signature Gay Playlist That Pleases the Girls, Gays, and Theys
This isn’t just any playlist, it’s THE event playlist. It’s Charli XCX followed by Kylie followed by RuPaul followed by “The Climb” just to make everyone cry a little. Your aux cord is a sacred weapon. Use it wisely.
Now go forth, queer warrior, with your starter kit in hand and your diva playlist queued. Pride Month is here, so be loud, be proud, and be so extra it hurts.
