Olympic diver Tom Daley is known for his gravity-defying dives, but in the latest episode of Sony Music Entertainment’s Dinners on Me podcast, he dives even deeper into the emotional highs and lows that have shaped his journey. Hosted by Modern Family actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson, the episode was recorded over a pasta meal at Bancone, a bustling Italian restaurant in London’s Covent Garden.
In a vulnerable and heartfelt conversation, Daley opens up about losing his father as a teenager, navigating life in the public eye, finding love with screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, and how becoming a father changed everything. The two also discuss Daley’s unexpected love for knitting and the inspiration behind his return to the Olympic Games.
A Son’s Tribute
Daley begins the conversation by reflecting on the death of his father when he was just 17 years old. His father had been a constant support in his diving career and life.
“My dad lived to make us happy,” Daley says. “He was at his happiest when we were.”
Growing up under the glare of public scrutiny only intensified the loss. “Growing up is difficult anyway, but doing it publicly, trying to figure out what’s right and wrong, made it even harder,” Daley recalls.
Now a parent himself, Daley finds parallels between his father’s devotion and his own experience raising two children with husband Dustin Lance Black. He says the upcoming BBC documentary about his life was partly made so his kids can one day see what their father accomplished.
A Love That Changed His Life
Ferguson and Daley also revisit the early days of Daley’s relationship with Black. At the time, Daley was not yet publicly out, and their relationship began quietly.
“It’s crazy now looking back, to think I was ever in the closet,” Daley says. “I wish the world was in a place where you didn’t even have to come out.”
He credits Black with helping him through one of the darkest moments in his life, including the period after the 2016 Rio Olympics.
“He inspired me to keep going,” Daley says. “I was ready to quit diving.”
Daley admits he was very clear about what he wanted in a relationship from the start. “I asked him right away if he could see himself getting married and having kids,” he says. “Why be in a relationship if you don’t think it’s going to last?”
Childhood Trauma and Resilience
Daley also reflects on his experience making a recent BBC documentary, where he looked back at old footage from his youth.
“I almost feel like I was tortured through a lot of my childhood,” he says.
While he remembers his early years as fun and exciting, Daley acknowledges how his brain has protected him by suppressing painful memories of bullying.
At one point, the bullying became physical. “I was rugby tackled during lunch, and I injured my wrist,” he says. “I couldn’t dive for a week.”
It was the first time that the cruelty he endured at school directly impacted his diving career, and he realized he could no longer keep the two parts of his life separate.
Learning the Value of Losing
One of the most unexpected insights Daley shared was about the importance of failure.
“As an athlete, learning to lose was one of the most valuable lessons,” he says. “It’s easy to win, but it’s incredibly difficult to lose. That’s where you grow.”
Daley explains how early on, he was entered into competitions against adults to toughen him up. “And then I ended up winning those too,” he adds with a smile.
Rio’s Heartbreak
Daley describes the 2016 Rio Olympics as one of the darkest chapters in his life.
“I might even say it was one of the lowest points in my whole life,” he says.
After setting an Olympic record in the preliminaries, Daley failed to make it past the semifinals.
“I couldn’t believe it,” he says. “I had worked so hard for four years, and it all just fell apart.”
The loss left him questioning his future in diving. That’s when Black offered a new perspective.
“Lance said, maybe you weren’t meant to win this time,” Daley recalls. “Maybe your future child is meant to see you win a gold medal.”
Fatherhood and a New Outlook
By the time the Tokyo Olympics arrived, Daley’s life had changed dramatically. He was now a husband and a father, and those roles helped redefine his approach to competition.
“For the first time, I felt like I was more than a diver,” he says. “It freed me from the pressure, and I could finally enjoy the experience.”
Competing in Tokyo during the pandemic meant empty stadiums and an eerie silence.
“They still did the full light show and announcements, but no one was in the seats,” he says. “It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.”
Despite the strangeness, Daley believes the lack of a crowd helped his diving partner, Matty Lee, who was making his Olympic debut. “It made it more focused, less overwhelming,” Daley says.
A Surprise Decision to Return
Daley was not planning to return to the Olympics after Tokyo, but a trip to the Olympic and Paralympic Museum in Colorado Springs changed everything.
After watching a short film about what it takes to be an Olympian, he found himself in tears.
“I just missed it,” Daley says. “I missed the teammates, the feeling of competition.”
Black immediately understood what was happening. Their son Robbie then asked, “What’s the matter, Papa?”
Daley told him, “I miss diving.” Robbie responded, “I want to see you dive at the Olympics.” Daley smiled and replied, “Well, you slept through the last one.”
That moment sealed the decision. Despite just having welcomed their second child, Daley told Black he wanted to make one last Olympic run.
A Knitter’s Peace
In one of the more lighthearted moments of the conversation, Daley shared how knitting became a central part of his recovery and relaxation routine.
His coach encouraged him to find a way to sit still and rest. His husband suggested knitting, which is common on film sets.
“I went on YouTube and taught myself how to knit,” Daley says. “Then I got obsessed.”
Now hosting his own craft series called Made with Love and frequently sharing his creations online, Daley has found a surprising creative outlet that balances the intensity of his athletic life.
A Life in Full Color
Throughout the podcast, Daley displays remarkable openness about pain, love, and growth. With Ferguson guiding the conversation, the episode feels more like a conversation between close friends than a formal interview.
Whether he is describing the roar of an Olympic crowd, the silence of Tokyo’s empty stands, or the click of knitting needles, Daley’s journey is one of resilience, reinvention, and love.
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