Category: Dating

From your first date to the first night, join this online dating conversation.

Grindr Desktop: How To Use Grindr Without The App
If you’re gay, then you’ve probably heard of Grindr. Many people access the dating app on their phones, but did you know that you can use Grindr without having to use the app version?

Keep reading to learn how to use Grindr without the app!

Related | Elliot Page Is Joining the Dating App Scene

Why Would I Want To Use Grindr Without The App?

Safety and security are the main reasons why some prefer not to use the mobile version of Grindr. Though the mobile app is relatively safe to use, you might not want to use it if you don’t want your personal information or location tracked. Grindr also has a distinct ringtone for its notifications, so if you want to be discreet, you might want to check out other ways of using the app.

A few other reasons you might want to use Grindr without the app include:
- Low phone storage
- No access to a phone
- Personal preference
Ways To Access Grindr Without Using The App

Grindr Web

Grindr created a web version of its app in 2020 and was released pretty discreetly. The interface of the web version is fairly simple and has the basic functions of the mobile app.

A key feature of the site is that its default state is in “office mode”. In office mode, you have to hover your mouse over pictures to see them. This means you can browse the dating site discreetly, even in public. The mode can be toggled on or off by the user. One of the perks of connecting your mobile profile to the desktop version is that the site picks up where you left off, syncing your conservations on both devices. However, there’s no way to create a Grindr profile on the desktop version, so you have to make one on the mobile app.

How To Access Grindr Web

To access Grindr web, you just have to follow these steps:
1. Log into the mobile app and simultaneously go to the website.
2. Click on your profile.
3. Tap the “Grindr Web” button.
4. On the screen, scan the QR code.
After scanning the QR code, you will be logged into the website version of the app.

Android Emulators

A less common method for accessing different mobile apps on your computer, downloading an Android emulator lets you use Android applications on your computer or laptop as if it were an Android device. This method is recommended for people who can’t access their phone at the moment or just don’t have enough space on their phone for the app.

Nox Player

Compatible with both Windows and Mac operating systems, Nox Player has an easy enough interface to navigate on your laptop. A benefit of Nox Player is that you can change the hardware settings so that it runs faster, though a downside of the app is that its default Android system is Android 4.4 or 5.0.

To access Grindr through Nox Player you have to follow these steps:
1. Download the app from the Nox Player website.
2. Run the Nox Player emulator.
3. Log into your Google account on the emulator.
4. Access the Google Play Store, and find the Grindr app.
5. Follow the instructions of the installation wizard.
After the installation wizard, you will be able to use Grindr as if you were using it on an Android device.

BlueStacks

Though it’s primarily for people who want to use mobile games on their computers, BlueStacks can also be used to access a variety of Android apps, including Grindr.

Some of the pros of the app are:
- It has features such as key mapping.
- It allows access to the settings of other apps you downloaded, so you can change permissions such as location tracking, camera, and microphone access.
- BlueStacks allows you to run Grindr on a large screen, similar to the web version of the dating app.
A downside to using BlueStacks is the amount of memory you have to have to run it properly. Your computer needs to have at least 4 GB of RAM for the app to run properly, but BlueStacks recommends having at least 8 GB of RAM for faster, smoother performance.

KoPlayer

KoPlayer is one of the faster and more computer-friendly Android emulators on the market. It has a built-in Google Play Store, making it easier for you to install Android apps and games.

KoPlayer is also freeware, meaning you don’t have to pay for anything to use its features. Simply download KoPlayer and run the installation wizard to access Grindr on your PC.

Screen Mirroring App

If you don’t want to use emulators or can’t access the web version of Grindr, you can always use a screen mirroring app. Screen mirroring apps connect your phone to your computer – whatever app or page you’re accessing on your phone will show up on your laptop as well.

To access Grindr on your PC or desktop, look for screen mirroring applications that are compatible with your phone and will work on your laptop. For example, iOS has its own application called AirPlay, though other apps such as ApowerMirror, LetsView, AnyDesk, or TeamViewer are good alternatives, too.

Conclusion

Accessing Grindr on your laptop, whether through its web version or via emulators, is fairly easy. Now you can use the dating site without having to worry about your phone’s storage or your privacy being compromised!

Related | This Is What Happens When Bi Men Try Grindr For The First Time
December 9, 2022
What Does SOGIE Mean?

SOGIE is an acronym that means sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression. These are three things that may be intimately intertwined with one another. They certainly are not the same thing—and, most importantly, everyone has one! Let’s take a closer look at each of these terms.

Related | How To Tell If Someone Is Gay: Is “Gaydar” Real?

What Is SOGIE? What Does SOGIE Stand For?

SOGIE stands for sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression. SOGIE is often used in conversations surrounding LGBTQ issues, but it’s not limited to this community – everyone has SOGIE!

Let’s break each of these terms down.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to one’s sexuality, orientation, and attraction (or lack thereof). Terms such as lesbian, gay, and bisexual fall under this umbrella. That’s because they talk about who a person is attracted to. Heterosexual or straight also falls under this umbrella. These terms simply mean being attracted to people of a different gender.

While “sexual” is in its name, sexual orientation, in its broadest sense, also covers romantic and emotional attraction. For example, an asexual person may not experience sexual attraction. They may still experience romantic attraction and still be interested in relationships with other people. Terms such as heteroromantic, homoromantic, and biromantic fall under this umbrella.

Gender Identity

The next SOGIE meaning we’ll look into is gender as identity. Identity is personal and determined solely by the person identifying themselves. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) describes gender identity as “one’s innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves”.

A very important distinction has to be made between gender and sex. One’s sex is biological and often assigned or given at birth based on external, observable anatomy – this can be male, female, or intersex. Meanwhile, one’s gender might not necessarily match one’s sex. For example, transgender people identify differently from their assigned sex at birth, while cisgender people identify with their assigned sex.

Gender Expression

Gender expression refers to how “a person publicly expresses or presents their gender”. It can include clothing, behavior, interests, and general appearance.

While gender expression is certainly closely tied with gender identity, it’s important to remember that it is also very personal – it is the person’s choice on how they express themselves. One’s gender expression doesn’t have to match society’s ideas of what certain gender identities look like.

He, She, They: All About Pronouns

One important way that people may choose to identify themselves is through pronouns. A person’s pronouns may or may not seem to “align” with their outward gender expression, especially if the person’s expression doesn’t necessarily align with feminine, masculine, or even androgynous social norms, but they are an important part of their gender expression and identity.

The most commonly used pronouns include “she/her” and “he/him”. These are traditional “female or male” pronouns, but not everyone who is comfortable using these pronouns necessarily identifies with a binary or traditional gender. For example, just because a person uses “she/her” pronouns does mean she automatically identifies as “female”.

Since gender pronouns are very closely tied to social feminine and masculine norms, some people use neutral pronouns, such as the singular “they/them”. While “they/them” is often used for groups of people, it is perfectly valid and grammatically correct (not that it matters) to use them for individual people. Others use neo pronouns such as “ze/hir” which are meant to replace traditional pronouns.

Using these pronouns may allow a person to feel more secure in their identity as it lets them break away from traditional gender stereotypes associated with traditional pronouns.

What Does Being Queer Mean?

Queer is a SOGIE term that can describe any non-cis heterosexual person’s sexual orientation or identity. For example, a queer person may be attracted only to people of the same gender and identify as cisgender or be attracted to all genders and identify as non-binary.

Sadly, queer has been used as a slur against LGBTQ people in the past, so some people in the community are not comfortable using the word to describe themselves. Still, many are choosing to reclaim the word and proudly label themselves as queer. It’s best to ask a person how they identify themselves before referring to them as queer.

The Importance Of SOGIE

SOGIE is an integral part of a person’s identity, whether one is queer, straight, or cisgender. However, it’s particularly important for people who don’t identify as straight or cisgender as it gives them the language to express their gender and sexuality in a more nuanced and authentic way.

Many countries now recognize SOGIE attributes as protected in their anti-discrimination laws, making sure that queer people are not discriminated against or forced to fit social norms. Sadly, there are still countries that do not – the Philippines, for one, still has its SOGIE bill languishing in legal limbo.

SOGIE Is For Everyone

While SOGIE seems to be nearly synonymous with LGBTQ issues, it’s important to remember that everyone has SOGIE. Understanding even the very basics of SOGIE can help everyone create a safer and more open environment for everyone, whether they’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or somewhere else on the LGBTQ spectrum.

Related | Openly Gay Indiana Mayor Makes 2020 Presidential Bid

December 9, 2022
How To Tell If Someone Is Gay: Dispelling Myths & Outdated Stereotypes

“Gaydar”, “gay face”, the “gay ear”. These are terms that speak to a seemingly universal assumption—that it’s possible to determine someone’s sexuality based on their appearance alone. But is it really all that simple? Can people with a “strong gaydar” really sense whether someone is gay just by looking at them? Do some people really have an unmistakable “gay face” that easily gives away their sexuality? Is it really possible to tell if someone is gay?

Related | Debunking The ‘Gaydar’ Myth

Shutterstock

Can You Tell If Someone Is Gay Just By Their Appearance?

The short answer? No. You can assume someone’s sexuality based on certain stereotypes, but there is no surefire way to “clock” someone without actually getting confirmation from that person. A lot of people think that you can easily spot a gay person by looking for certain signs. An effeminate man who’s into fashion, makeup, and RuPaul’s Drag Race may seem like an obvious candidate. But these are just stereotypes of what a gay person might like, and they’re deeply rooted in homophobia and, to a certain extent, misogyny.

What Makes A Man?

Let’s face it, we live in a deeply heteronormative society. What this means is that we’re conditioned—be it by our families, schools, religion, authority figures, or the media—to believe that being cisgender and heterosexual is the default and “normal” modes of gender and sexuality. And with this belief comes assumptions about what it means to be cis and straight. For men, it means being masculine, assertive, dominant, and unemotional. It means being into traditionally “manly” hobbies like extreme sports, fishing, cars, and hunting. It means not being too flashy in terms of your personal style, and not being into “feminine” clothing like short shorts or tight-fitting jeans, or flowy tops.

When someone goes against the grain and looks, acts, or participates in things that are deemed “feminine”, people then tend to assume that that person is not a “real man”. In short, if they’re not into traditionally masculine things, then they must be gay, right?

Not quite. After all, there are plenty of gay men who are buff, into working out, present more masculine and don’t typically enjoy more “feminine” hobbies. There are also plenty of lesbians and bisexual women who don’t look or act “butch” and prefer wearing dresses and skirts, wear makeup, and have never picked up a drill in their lives.

Shutterstock

Understanding SOGIE

The best way to dispel the myth that you can easily tell if someone’s gay is by understanding the difference between sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression or SOGIE. These are all independent aspects of one’s personal identity.

Sexual Orientation

This is who you’re sexually (and/or romantically) attracted to. Homosexual (gay and lesbian) people are attracted to people of the same gender. Heterosexual (straight) people are attracted to people of a different gender. Typically this includes men who are attracted to women and women who are attracted to men. Bisexual and pansexual people are attracted to people of the same and different genders.

Gender Identity

This is your personal conception of your own gender. In other words, this is defined by whether you identify as a man, woman, or both/neither. Those who identify as the latter may be considered non-binary, agender, or genderfluid.

Doctors, family, and society, sometimes unwittingly assign people a certain gender at birth. Some of those people will grow up realizing that they don’t identify with that gender. That makes them transgender.

Gender Expression

Your gender expression is how you express or present your gender to the outside world. This includes your behavior, mannerisms, speech, clothing, and hair.

But remember: a person’s gender identity and expression are fundamentally different from their sexual orientation. In other words, who you find attractive has no bearing on your gender identity or how you wish to express that identity.

As such, this makes the idea of “being able to tell whether someone is gay” based on their outward appearance, body language, hobbies, and interests moot.

How Do You Know If Someone Is Gay, Then?

The only surefire ways to know if someone is gay are actually quite straightforward.

1. They Openly Identify As Gay

If a person says they identify as gay, chances are, they’re gay. Only an individual can discern what their sexual identity is. It has nothing to do with how they dress, talk, express themselves, or what interests they happen to have.

2. They Are In A Same-Sex Relationship

Homosexuality is a sexual orientation—pure and simple. No types of clothing, manners of speaking, or hobbies inherently link to a sexual preference. Society’s assumptions, culture, or even just anecdotal experiences usually inform these associations with sexuality. If someone is clearly in a same-sex relationship that is sexual, romantic or both, then they are likely not heterosexual. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are homosexual – they could be bisexual, pansexual, or any number of other orientations.

Shutterstock

Final Thoughts

The societal expectations surrounding gender roles and sexual preference simply amount to assumptions influenced by stereotypes. There are certainly some cultural norms that are more common in people who identify as gay, so some of these norms may feel like obvious signs that indicate someone’s sexuality. However, it’s not fair to make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality, and it’s always best to keep an open mind.

Related | Apparently, Your Gaydar Doesn’t Really Work

November 18, 2022
The Trials & Tribulations Of Being Gay On Thanksgiving

The gay Thanksgiving meme rings true for a reason. It’s that time of year again when the “gay cousin” nervously clutches their phones and tiptoes around conversations. Or maybe they have to deal with a rude relative.

Some may not be out to their families yet. This can make it difficult to share the chosen families and experiences that they’re thankful for. Others may be out and proud but are celebrating apart from their families and uncertain how to form new traditions. Thanksgiving is a holiday of cheer and warmth. Whether you’re out or closeted, you should be able to enjoy it with a loving community. Here are some great ways that you can enjoy a gay, happy Thanksgiving. This includes fun ways to come out or celebrate with friends.

Related | How to Juggle Two Lovers During the Holidays

How To Come Out As Gay On Thanksgiving

If you feel comfortable enough to come out to your family and other relatives on Thanksgiving, congratulations! Coming out can be scary, but it can also be a rewarding experience that affirms your identity and helps you feel more comfortable with yourself.

Here are some tips that can make it less stressful to come out at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Start With The Family Members You Trust Most

We all have relatives we feel closer to and whom we feel know us best. If you feel that these family members will be more receptive to the news, tell them first. They can later offer much-needed support as you come out to the rest of your family, and this positive reinforcement can help if you get stressed out.

Don’t Drink To Mask Your Emotions

It can be tempting to use drugs or alcohol as a social lubricant, but it’s actually a bad idea. Revealing your sexual and gender identity can be a big step in your life, and you need a clear mind to communicate your thoughts. These substances can cloud your judgment and easily sway you into extreme, negative reactions.

Remember That They’ll Need Time

Just as you needed time and space to explore your identity, be mindful of the fact that your family members might need these things too. They may not completely understand your journey but time may give them more perspective. Tell them about your gender and/or sexual identity, then table further discussion for another day.

Decide Whether To Make A Splash Or Be Lowkey

Sometimes, we can feel comfortable enough around our families to make our coming out a comedic, lighthearted moment at Thanksgiving dinner. Why not share the “gay cousin meme” with your family and say you relate to it this Thanksgiving or bring a “gender/sexual identity reveal” Thanksgiving dish with a special message?

Others may feel ready, but want something more toned down. A good way to come out during Thanksgiving is to wait for the moment when everyone gives thanks before eating. When it’s your turn, say something like, “I’m thankful for being gay, and for feeling loved and comfortable enough to share this with all of you.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Probably This (@probablythis)

Festive Ideas For A Fun Gay Or Lesbian Thanksgiving

If you’re celebrating with your chosen family instead of your blood relatives, you may not have come up with your own holiday traditions yet. Here are some ways that you can enjoy an LGBTQ Thanksgiving together with your favorite friends.

Have A Potluck Thanksgiving

It may be too cramped for your whole friend group to cook in the same kitchen for Thanksgiving, so why not reduce the pressure by having a potluck Thanksgiving instead?

You can assign dishes to friends or they can volunteer their own ideas. Food, memories, and identity are all closely intertwined, so having people prepare or bring a dish close to their hearts is a great chance to learn more about them.

Shutterstock

Go For A Gaycation

Skip the typical Thanksgiving meal and treat yourself to a festive vacation at a gay-friendly destination!

Round up your chosen family for a trip to fun, inclusive places such as Portland, Fort Lauderdale, or Key West. These LGBT-friendly areas have great nightlife and dining spots where you can enjoy your choice of low-key or wild Thanksgiving party.

Dance your blues away, toast to the friends you’re thankful for, and make new memories!

Have A Singalong Thanksgiving Brunch

If your chosen family is the kind that loves a good song and dance, a singalong meal may be just the thing. Talk to them about your playlist choices and arrange your song list. You can even form teams for a Thanksgiving singing competition ala Pitch Perfect!

Afterward, you can all enjoy your Thanksgiving lunch or dinner together, with extra slices of pumpkin pie or for the winners!

Shutterstock

Celebrate Your Identity & Enjoy A Gay Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a lonely or stressful holiday. If you’re yearning to come out but aren’t prepared for the emotional weight of it during the holidays, our helpful tips can make this process easier.

But if you’re handling the trials of celebrating Thanksgiving away from relatives, don’t worry! Check our helpful tips above to get ideas on how to form fresh, fun traditions with your chosen family. You deserve to feel grateful for the season.

Related | 7 New LGBTQ+ Movies Queering up the Holiday Season

November 3, 2022
This Is What Happens When Bi Men Try Grindr For The First Time

Dating is hard for bi men. Navigating a complex web of biphobia, homophobia, gender stereotypes, and societal pressure takes a toll on your love life. In a recent video from Grindr, we got to hear from bi men directly. Four bisexual guys took the opportunity to try the dating app for the first time, which started a bunch of interesting conversations.

It Ain’t Easy Being Bi

In case you didn’t know, bisexual folks make up more than half of the LGBTQ+ population. No shade if you didn’t by the way. Biphobia and bi-erasure have done a lot to ensure that bi folks are much less visible in our community. This is true for all bi+ folks, regardless of gender, but bi men are also subject to plain old homophobia. Surveys have shown that men are considered less attractive to women when they find out they’re bi. One survey found that 63% of women said they wouldn’t date a man who has sex with men. Even if it only happened once. This is true even though 47% of the same women said they have been attracted to another woman. 31% even had a sexual experience with another woman.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ???? sophia (@nomsikka)

As a result, many bi men have to resort to hiding their identity, dating other bi folks exclusively, or dating men. One 2019 study, published in the Journal of Bisexuality, found that gay men are less likely to hold any attraction prejudices against bi men. Generally, straight women perceived bi men as more feminine, but the same couldn’t be said for gay men. While the lead author of the study has cautioned that further research is needed to confirm this, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to back this up. Just ask bi men.

Bi Men Try Grindr

The clip featured four bi men; Anton Sebel, Dio Reynoso, Joshua Montoya, and Nick Masc. They were certainly familiar with the app but had yet to take the plunge. This gives us the rare opportunity to experience that moment through bi eyes. Each of the guys set up their profiles, selecting their photos, pronouns, filters, and “tribes.” They also chose whether or not they accept NSFW pics. Each guy varied in their responses, so it felt like an even spread of experiences.

As the guys sat back and watched the responses (most of which were photos) roll in, they talked about their love lives. This included topics like non-monogamy and whether they consider themselves tops, bottoms, or versatile. Despite having very different ways of being bi, all of the guys seemed to agree that it’s harder to date straight women. “With girls, it’s much harder than with guys,” said Montoya. “A lot of times I feel like girls have an insecurity if you’re not straight.” Sebel chimed in to agree, saying “It’s way easier with bisexual girls but it straight girls it never works.”

In the end, it seemed like the guys had a great time on Grindr. If only bi men had as much luck dating straight women.

September 30, 2022
Omniromantic: What Does It Mean?
Omniromantic is an emerging term that many people associate with the concept of being omnisexual. However, who omniromantics are emotionally attracted to may not be the same people they are attracted to sexually. So, what does the term mean, and where did it come from? This quick guide will tell you everything you need to know about being omniromantic.

Related | Polyromantic: What Does It Mean?

@lgbtq.pride.lgbtq/instagram.com

Omniromantic Meaning

The term “omniromantic” describes someone romantically attracted to all genders. The prefix “omni-” means “omnis/omnia,” in Latin, which translates to “everything/all.” However, unlike pansexuals, omnirom people are not considered gender-blind and consider gender when navigating romantic feelings. Omniromantic people might be attracted to one or more genders over others.

The person behind the term is unknown, but “omniromantic” first appeared on UrbanDictionary in early 2015.

What Does The Omniromantic Flag Look Like?

The omniromantic flag appears identical to the omnisexual flag, which has five horizontal stripes. However, the omnirom flag also features a heart in its center.

From top to bottom, the stripes are light and dark pink, dark and light purple, and light blue, representing all the genders omniromantic people feel attraction toward. The pink colors represent female-leaning genders, while the blue colors represent male-leaning genders.

It is also unknown who created the omniromantic flag, but it was first posted online on May 9, 2016.

Distinctions From Other Orientations

Omniromantics are sometimes confused with other orientations that may have similar characteristics. These include the following:

Omniromantic vs Asexual

Omniromantic people are romantically attracted to all genders. While asexual people feel little to no sexual attraction to anyone.

Omniromantic vs Demisexual

Like omniromantics, demisexual people can potentially feel attraction to any and all genders. However, demisexual people can only feel sexual attraction once they have developed an emotional bond with a specific person. This emotional bond does not have to be romantic – in some cases, the bond can be platonic.

Omniromantic vs Pansexual

While the two orientations may seem interchangeable, people who identify as pansexual can be attracted to others regardless of gender. In the case of an omniromantic, a person’s gender plays a role in their attraction to them.

Do Omniromantic People Have Specific Pronouns?

The term “omniromantic” describes a person’s romantic orientation, not gender identity. Thus, an omnirom person’s gender pronouns can be whatever they want!

Omniromantic people may identify with any and all genders, so they may use she/her, he/him, or they/them pronouns, as well as rolling or neo-pronouns. Whatever the case, you should always ask any person (omnirom or not) the pronouns they prefer to use.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ????️‍????the mspec community????️‍???? (@multispectacular)

How To Tell If Your Omniromantic

Being attracted to more than one gender can be confusing. Especially for someone exploring their romantic orientation for the first time. Plus, with so many labels to use, how do you know which one suits you best?

If you think you might be omniromantic but aren’t sure about it, try asking yourself the following questions:
- Do you find yourself attracted to people of all genders? Do you feel more intensely for one gender than you do for another gender?
- Do you find yourself attracted to people because of their gender regardless of their gender?
- When you think about why you are attracted to someone, does their gender matter?
Even if most of your answers to these questions are “yes”, keep in mind that your journey towards self-discovery could take time, so be patient!

How To Support Someone Who Is Omniromantic

Discovering your romantic orientation can be an enriching journey, but it can be challenging for people without the appropriate support. If someone you know is omniromantic, here are a few ways you can show them you care.

Know The Difference Between Romantic & Sexual Attraction

Remember, just because someone is interested in a person romantically, it does not mean they are sexually attracted to them. Someone who is omniromantic may not necessarily be omnisexual. An omnirom person can form emotional bonds with someone without ever developing a sexual relationship.

Debunk Myths About Being Omniromantic

Because omnirom people are attracted to all genders, some might assume they are always in relationships with multiple people. However, omniromantics are not predisposed to be more promiscuous than others just because they feel romantic attraction to a broader range of people. Unless an omniroman person is practicing polyamory, they can maintain monogamous relationships just like anyone else.

It is also a common misconception that there is a “cause” for being omniromantic. Like other romantic orientations, there is no underlying reason that someone may identify with this label.

People don’t become omniromantic because of genetics or trauma. However, people might be more likely to express being omniromantic if they have robust support systems and an open community.

Talk To Other Omniromantic People

One of the best ways to understand someone discovering their romantic orientation is to talk to people who identify the same way. After all, they will likely have the answers to your questions.

If you aren’t sure about how someone identifies, ask them. If you aren’t sure what pronouns they prefer, ask them. You are better off avoiding damaging assumptions by letting others take the lead when it is most appropriate.

@lgbt_positivity_central/instagram.com

The Bottom Line

If you feel romantic attraction towards all genders and consider gender when navigating relationships, you might be omniromantic. When interacting with other omnirom people, remember to avoid misconceptions by leaving your judgment at the door and never assuming.

Being omniromantic doesn’t mean you deserve less respect and understanding than someone who is bisexual, pansexual, or of any other orientation. If you are unsure how to approach someone omniromantic, just ask them for tips and lead with respect.

Related | Frayromantic: What Does It Mean?
September 26, 2022
What Does It Mean To Be Homoromantic?
Thanks to worldwide progress, people are more aware and accepting of the wide range of sexualities and orientations. There’s also a much deeper understanding of the difference between sexual and romantic attraction – two key facets of human sexuality. In this article, we’ll go over what it means to be homoromantic, its relationship with homosexuality, and the difference between romantic and sexual orientation.

Related | What Do All The Versions Of The Pride Flag Mean?

What Does Homoromantic Mean?

Being homoromantic means you feel a romantic attraction to the same or a similar gender. The prefix homo- comes from the Greek word homos, meaning “the same”. The root word is “romantic”, which refers to an expression of love. When combined, homoromantic means an expression of love towards a person of the same or a similar gender.

Most people who identify as homosexual are also homoromantic, meaning they feel both romantically and sexually attracted to the same or a similar gender. However, one can have romantic feelings towards a particular person or gender while not feeling sexually attracted to them.

lazyllama/shutterstock.com

Homoromantic vs Homosexual vs Asexual

Homosexual and asexual are both terms that describe a person’s sexual orientation. Homoromantic, on the other hand, describes a person’s romantic orientation.

Let’s break these terms down into their basic definitions:
- Homoromantic: A romantic orientation that describes an attraction to the same gender
- Homosexual: A sexual orientation that describes an attraction to the same gender
- Asexual: A sexual orientation that describes little to no sexual attraction
It’s important to note that there is a difference between romantic and sexual orientations.

Romantic orientation describes a person’s romantic attraction to a particular gender. It is separate from sexual attraction. When you’re romantically attracted to someone, it means that you want to date them and be in a relationship with them. Note how sexual desire and attraction are absent from this definition.

Meanwhile, sexual orientation describes a person’s sexual attraction to a particular gender. This is different from romantic attraction – you could desire sexual interactions with a person but not necessarily want to date or be intimate with them in a romantic way.

Guillem Gaber/Shutterstock.com

Homoromantic As A Romantic Orientation

Though the term homoromantic may sound new to some, the homoromantic orientation has always existed. One can be romantically attracted to the same or a similar gender while being sexually attracted to completely different genders.

Let’s take look at a few examples of how homoromantic orientation can be combined with varying sexual orientations:
- Homoromantic asexual: A person who is romantically attracted to the same or a similar gender but feels little to no sexual attraction to any gender
- Homoromantic homosexual: A person who is both romantically and sexually attracted to the same or a similar gender
- Homoromantic heterosexual: A person who is romantically attracted to the same or a similar gender while only being sexually attracted to the opposite gender
Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock.com

3 Signs You Might Be Homoromantic

Being homoromantic can manifest in different ways, so it’s not the same for everyone. That said, here are some signs you might be homoromantic.

You See Yourself Dating Someone Of The Same Gender

Perhaps you’ve always identified as heterosexual but you’ve recently started having feelings towards a person of the same or a similar gender. Maybe you’ve fallen for a best friend of the same gender, and feel drawn to that person romantically, but have no desire to be physically intimate with them.

This could be a sign you’re homoromantic. It’s important to remember that romantic and sexual orientations are fluid and can change over time.

Your Interest In The Opposite Gender Doesn’t Feel Intimate

You might feel that your relationships with the opposite gender have been missing something. Maybe you’ve always been with and sexually desired people of the opposite gender, but as far as romance is concerned, you don’t feel any deeper connection. This could be a sign that you’re homoromantic.

When You Imagine A Long-Term Partner, It’s Someone Of The Same Gender

When you think of being in a long-term, committed relationship — moving in together, buying a house, and starting a family — you see it with somebody who is not of the opposite gender. If you are experiencing these feelings, it could be a sign that you are homoromantic. As with everything, it’s important to think about how it makes you feel and to follow your heart.

MandriaPix/Shutterstock.com

What To Do When A Loved One Comes Out As Homoromantic

Coming out can be a tough decision, especially if the person in question is still figuring it out or fears not being accepted. Here are the best things you can do if a loved one decides to come out as homoromantic:
- Be supportive: It was likely a big decision to come out to you. Letting your loved one know that you’re there for them and support them no matter what will go a very long way.
- Do your own research: You’ll be better informed and it will also show them that you care about their experience.
- Be curious: It’s okay to ask questions – this demonstrates that you want to understand what they’re going through. Just know that they might still be figuring it out and may not have all the answers yet.
- Talk to other homoromantic people: This can give you some great insight into other people’s coming out experiences and help you understand your loved one better.
- Include them: If you do activities and go to events with your loved one, like a weekend movie night, keep doing them. One of the biggest fears people have when coming out is that family and friends will treat them differently. Maintaining your relationship will help ease that fear.
Final Thoughts

Homoromantic people are romantically attracted to the same or a similar gender. It’s possible to have “mixed orientations” in terms of romantic and sexual desire, so one can be heterosexual, pansexual, or asexual (or other sexual orientations) while only desiring romantic intimacy with the same gender.

If you’re questioning whether or not you are homoromantic, take your time to process what you’re feeling. Figuring out your identity is a personal journey. If a loved one or a friend has come out as homoromantic, the best thing you can do is be there for them and let them know that you stand by them.

Whatever the case may be, just remember that orientation and gender are fluid and can change over time. Humans are amazing and emotionally complex beings – understanding this helps us better understand the people around us, our society, and the beautifully diverse world we live in.

Related | What Is The Demiromantic Flag?
September 24, 2022
The Top 5 Transgender-Friendly Cities in the U.S.

Are there transgender-friendly cities? There have been significant improvements in recent years with the acceptance of queer people in the United States. Progressive laws and the mainstream media’s portrayal of transgender folks have helped. In addition, there is an upward trend of Americans who support marriage equality, access to healthcare and jobs, and equal treatment of LGBTQ+ folks.

Still, not every city shares this mindset, and trans people face the brunt of this discrimination. Between prejudicial legislation and a societal normalization of transphobia, some places may feel unwelcoming or unsafe for trans people to live in or visit. On the other hand, there are some great, progressive areas where this is less of an issue. These cities have flourishing communities, local events for queer people, Pride festivities, and politicians who support the trans experience.

We’ve rounded up the best US places for transgender dating, safety, working, and well-being.

San Francisco, California, regularly tops the charts

San Francisco is typically found at the top of lists ranking LGBTQ-friendly cities. So much so that it’s even affectionately called the “gay capital of the world.” The city isn’t just a trendy hotspot for queer people; it has the history to back it up. SF was the first US city that legalized same-sex marriage. It also was the first city to elect an openly gay official, the trailblazing Harvey Milk.

Naeblys/Shutterstock.com

Even though San Francisco has world-renowned Pride celebrations, from parades to parties visited by over 50,000 people, you can find events celebrating queer and trans folks all year round. In addition, San Franciscans can support their local queer community by shopping at one of many LGBTQ+-owned businesses or strolling down the beloved Rainbow Honor Walk to connect with the heart of the city.
San Francisco has as much love and pride for its trans folks as it does for everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. The Golden City has been ranked highly for healthcare access and community support.

Additionally, the local government has a department called the Office of Transgender Initiatives, considered the first — and only — trans-led office in the US to advance equity and policies for trans and gender nonconforming people. The city additionally has a Gender Inclusion Policy that strictly prohibits gender identity or expression discrimination in the workplace.

Related | The Best U.S. Cities for Same-Sex Couples

New York City, New York, has the history and the community

It’s not surprising that New York City is on this list of transgender-friendly places in the US. The Big Apple is not only incredibly progressive today, but it’s also the birthplace of many important events in the LGBTQ+ community’s rich history. One of the earliest places with a thriving queer community, NYC was home to protests and riots over gay rights. One of the most famous of these was 1969’s Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village. Many trace this event, which saw Black trans women at the forefront, to be what incited the modern gay rights movement in the US.

Today, New York’s self-identifying queer population is higher than most other places around the country, and over 50,000 people self-identify as transgender — that’s more than any other city’s trans population.

Glynnis Jones/Shutterstock.com

People from around the world flock to New York in June for its annual Pride March, and the city has begun championing trans Pride events in particular, like the Queer Liberation March, which advocates for trans and BIPOC people.

The local politics offer laws protecting trans and queer people against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in workplaces and in public. For the lesbian-identifying trans folks out there, NYC is also home to Henrietta Hudson, one of three lesbian bars that remain in the city.

Chicago, Illinois, is considered to be a top progressive city

Chicago has a booming population of queer people. Not only can it be a fun place for trans dating or socializing, but the local politicians are doing the work to ensure a safe and equal environment for everyone regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

In 2019, Illinois was one of three states to pass a law that designated public single-occupancy restrooms to be gender neutral. In addition, it was one of a handful of states that banned LGBTQ+ “panic” defenses, which have historically been used to justify violence toward gay and trans people. Banning panic defenses has been crucial in reducing attacks on queer and trans folks.

ABNP-Media/Shutterstock.com

Illinois also was the fifth US state that required schools to teach LGBTQ+ history. The law also mandates that schools’ curricula include positive contributions of transgender, lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.

Chicago received a perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s 2021 Municipality Equality Index scorecard, which evaluates how a municipality’s laws are structured to protect and empower queer and transgender people. The report found that the city provides the highest amount of transgender-inclusive healthcare benefits as an employer. In addition, HRC determined the municipality is committed to treating LGBTQ+ employees equally by offering these benefits and protections.

Portland, Oregon, is a must-visit in the Pacific Northwest

Portland, Oregon, is beloved for its quirky culture and personality. There’s always something to do, especially for queer people looking to connect with their community at LGBTQ-friendly events. For example, the Portland Queer Film Festival is a showcase for LGBTQ+ artists and entertainers; you can hang out every month at skating sessions around town; there is plenty of queer and transgender business owner whose shops would love your support.

Diego G Diaz/Shutterstock.com

Portland’s history speaks to its acceptance of those in the queer and trans communities. In 2008, it became the first major city to elect an openly gay mayor, Sam Adams. The community typically shows up loud and proud to Pride events and protests. And the city government itself offers diverse resources for transgender individuals, from vocal training to a coalition for Black trans folks to education on changing one’s gender marker on their driver’s license.

Portland is notably close to Seattle, another PNW city favored for being trans-friendly, so it’s an ideal location if you’re looking to travel locally and still find that welcoming quality people know and love in Portland.

Visit Boston, Massachusetts, for excellent resources and nightlife

Boston, Massachusetts, rounds out our list of the top 5 transgender-friendly cities in the US. The city is inclusive and diverse, with many trans and gay nightlife and celebratory events.

Boston was also given a perfect score from the Human Rights Campaign on its 2021 Municipality Equality Index scorecard. The report, which evaluates how a city is enacting equality policies, found the municipality offers the top trans-inclusive healthcare benefits to LGBTQ+ employees, which shows a commitment on a local level to progressing the queer community.

Netrun78/Shutterstock.com

As for nightlife, Boston’s esteemed Jacques’ Cabaret features regular drag performances and cabaret shows. The establishment has rave reviews about the club’s transgender staff. Other queer bars can be found throughout the city, with the traditionally gay neighborhood concentrated near the South End.
The city offers compassionate and inclusive resources for transgender community members, with unique providers for transgender veterans and queer Asian Pacific Islanders. Trans people can also find support in the Trans Community of New England’s social club. Still it’s great to remember that transgender dating and social apps are an easy way to connect with people when you’re new to an area or are just looking to expand your community.

Looking to the future

As is often the case, major cities in the U.S. can often become islands of progressivism. What sets these cities apart are the local policies that protect trans folks’ access to lifesaving healthcare, employment, and housing. They also enrich the lives of trans folks with vibrant nightlife and trans-inclusive places to socialize. We hope for a future where lists like this can continue to grow. A future where trans folks can simply look around and find that they are already home.

Related | 7 Best Gay Beaches in Southern California

August 20, 2022
Polyromantic: What Does It Mean?
Polyromantic is a term that has only gained traction within the last few years. If you’re unfamiliar with its meaning, you might assume it has something to do with the similarly named polyamory. However, this is not the case.

So, what is polyromantic? Is it the same as other terms like polyamory or panromantic? This article will cover its definition, relation to other terms, and some common misconceptions.

RELATED | What Is the Polysexual Flag?

Polyromantic Definition

People who identify as polyromantic experience romantic attraction to multiple genders but not necessarily all of them. For example, a polyromantic person can be romantically attracted to men, women, and demiboys but not toward demigirls or nonbinary folks.

If you break down the word polyromantic, you’ll get the prefix -poly which means “many”. Meanwhile, -romantic is defined as an expression of love toward other people. When you put it together, a polyromantic would be someone capable of expressing love towards many people of varying genders.

It’s important to note that being polyromantic doesn’t necessarily mean you are also sexually attracted to multiple genders. Romantic and sexual attraction are actually two different facets of your orientation, and polyromantic as a term only describes your romantic attraction towards other people.

You may have a totally different sexual orientation. For example, you can be heterosexual and polyromantic, meaning you are romantically attracted to multiple genders but are only sexually attracted to the opposite gender.

WinWin artlab/Shutterstock.com

Is Polyromantic The Same As Polyamorous?

Both of these terms share the same prefix -poly, so it’s understandable that some people confuse their definitions. However, there is a stark difference between these two terms.

Polyromantic is a term that describes someone’s romantic attraction. On the other hand, polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship dynamic.

Polyamory is neither a romantic nor sexual orientation – it is a relationship style with absolutely nothing to do with what gender you identify as. Rather, polyamorous people are those who can be romantically or sexually involved with multiple partners. This is in contrast with folks who are monogamous (i.e., people who are only involved with one partner at a time).

For example, you can be heterosexual and polyamorous. This means that you can foster romantic or sexual relationships with multiple people. However, those people are only of the opposite gender.

By the same token, you can be polyromantic and monogamous. This means you are only ever romantically and sexually involved with one person at a time. However, you’ll only consider relationships with people who identify as the genders you are romantically attracted to.

Angyalosi Beata/Shutterstock.com

Polyromantic vs Panromantic vs Pansexual

You might have come across these terms while searching and understanding different labels. It’s easy to get confused, considering all these terms sound relatively similar and use overlapping meanings.

To make things easier to understand, we’ve broken these terms down according to their type of orientation (i.e., romantic or sexual) and your requirements for attraction.
- Polyromantic is a romantic orientation wherein you consider potential romantic partners based on multiple gender identity preferences.
- Panromantic is a romantic orientation wherein you don’t consider a potential romantic partner’s gender as a factor.
- Pansexual is a sexual orientation wherein you don’t consider a potential sexual partner’s gender as a factor.
3 Common Misconceptions About Polyromantics

Polyromantics Are Cheaters

People who identify as polyromantic are attracted to multiple types of gender identity. However, this doesn’t mean that they fall for every person who falls under these preferred gender identities – much less act on those feelings.
No romantic or sexual orientation is more likely to cheat than the others. A person’s tendency to cheat has more to do with their own emotional maturity and ability to uphold boundaries than anything else.

Polyromantics Are Bisexual

While polyromantic is a romantic orientation, bisexuality is a sexual orientation. Someone who is polyromantic and attracted to multiple genders may not necessarily be sexually attracted to those same genders.

That said, polyromanticism is considered to be under the bi+ umbrella.

Polyromantic Is The Same As Panromantic

Both terms are romantic orientations. However, they are two distinct terms. An easy way to distinguish the two is to look at their prefixes: poly- vs. -pan. The former means “many”, while the latter means “all”.

There are many types of gender identities out there. People who identify as polyromantic may be romantically attracted to a select few of those identities but not all of them. On the other hand, panromantics don’t even consider gender as a factor when they feel romantically attracted to someone.

Ink Drop/Shutterstock.com

Final Thoughts

Polyromanticism is distinct from other terms that describe romantic orientation like panromantic. It does not describe your sexual orientation or preferred relationship dynamics (as with the term “polyamorous”). It only means that some people are romantically attracted to many (but not all) gender identities.

Related | What Is The Difference Between Polygamy & Polyamory?
August 3, 2022
What Does Allosexual Mean?
As we’ve begun to realize, sexuality is diverse. And as we discover more aspects of sexuality, we also find new words to describe the vast range of associated experiences. Here, we take a look at the word “allosexual”, its definition, origin, and importance.

RELATED | What Asexuality Can Teach Us About Sexual Relationships

What Is “Allosexual”? Meaning And Relevance Of The Term

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) defines “allosexual” as “someone who experiences sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships (or the adjective describing a person as such)”. In a sense, allosexuality is the opposite of asexuality, which is defined as having little to no desire or interest in having sex.

Allosexual people are more widely referred to as “sexual” people outside of the asexual community. The term is believed to have been created by members of the asexual community as a way to highlight the differences between being sexual and asexual, as well as the privileges that allosexual people enjoy in a society that deems sexual attraction and desire as the norm.

Vikky Mir/Shutterstock.com

Allosexual vs Asexual

If you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, then learning that allosexuality is essentially its opposite may not make much sense to you. So, let’s get into what it means to be asexual.

AVEN describes asexual people as those who “are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way.” Unlike celibates, who make a deliberate choice to abstain from sex, asexual people have no choice in whether they can or can’t be sexually attracted to others.

Asexual people may not be able to experience any or a strong -enough sexual attraction to be labeled allosexual, but they can experience other forms of attraction, including romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is the desire to have romantic relationships with others. In this sense, being asexual doesn’t automatically make you aromantic, though you can be both as well.

Asexual people may also be able to feel aesthetic or sensual attraction for others. Aesthetic attraction is defined by AVEN as “appreciation for a person’s appearance”, while sensual attraction is “the desire to engage in sensual (but not sexual) activities with a person”. This means that, although asexual people may be averse or indifferent to sex, they may still seek out physical intimacy in the form of hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and so on.

engagestock/shutterstock.com

The Asexual Spectrum

Asexuality is believed to exist on a spectrum from asexual to sexual. This is also known as the ace-spec. As such, there is no one way to be asexual, and many people may fall into the “gray area” of asexuality.

Gray-asexual or “gray ace” people are those who experience sexual attraction to some degree. But not as much to feel fully comfortable identifying as allosexual. For example, a gray ace person may experience sexual attraction but have a low libido. Others may only be able to experience sexual attraction under very specific circumstances.

Here are some of the other sexual orientations that fall into the asexual spectrum:
- Demisexual: These are people who need to form a strong emotional bond with another person before they can be sexually attracted to them.
- Reciprosexual: These are people who are only sexually attracted to those who can reciprocate their feelings.
- Akoisexual: These are people who can experience sexual attraction but may lose the feeling when the object of their affection reciprocates their feelings.
- Aceflux: These people have a fluctuating sexuality. Their sexual desires fluctuate over time and they may feel more sexual or more asexual over certain durations.
Allosexual vs Pansexual vs Bisexual

Technically speaking, pansexual and bisexual people can all identify as allosexual as well. But being allosexual doesn’t immediately make you pansexual or bisexual. “Allosexual” simply describes anyone who has a strong enough interest in and desire for sexual experiences.

“Pansexual” describes people who can be sexually attracted to any gender. Some people define pansexuality as being attracted to others regardless of their gender.

Bisexuality, on the other hand, means being attracted to people of the same and different genders. Sometimes, the terms pansexual and bisexual are used interchangeably. Pansexuality is now recognized as part of the bi+ umbrella, which includes the omnisexual (being attracted to all gender identities), polysexual (being attracted to multiple gender identities), and queer identities as well.

natatravel/shutterstock.com

What Is Allosexual Privilege?

The concept of “allosexual privilege” is oft-debated in the asexual community. Like heterosexism – a system of attitudes and biases that puts heterosexuality as the de facto, “normal”, and sometimes even superior gender identity – allosexism describes an overarching belief system that assumes allosexuality to be the “norm”. This, asexual advocates believe, leads to unfair prejudice towards and misrepresentation of asexual and ace-spec people.

Advocates believe that allosexism doesn’t just harm ace-spec people. They believe it also puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on everyone – including allosexual people – to seek out sexual experiences and relationships even when they’re not ready for them.

For those whose sexual desires and attitudes may not align with what society deems as “normal” (including people who may have an illness or diagnosis that keeps them from wanting or having sex), this can lead to insecurity, body issues, jealousy, and even feelings of being “broken” or “not good enough”.

However, the concept of allosexual privilege is complicated when you consider how different types of sexuality are punished and rewarded. Cis-heterosexual men arguably have the most privilege in that they are praised and rewarded by their peers for engaging in sexual activity. A male losing his virginity is even depicted as a “right of passage” in US media.

In contrast, cis-heterosexual women are often judged for embracing their sexuality. Even as sex positivity becomes more normalized today, women are still routinely slut-shamed. Queer people have also been persecuted for their sexual orientation. In the past, same-sex relations were even considered illegal in the US.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Eleanor (18) (@just_your_local_ace)

The Bottom Line

The juxtaposition of allosexuality and asexuality demonstrates that the desire for sexual experiences exists on a spectrum. Much like our gender and sexual orientation. It’s important to understand the terms and its implications. Especially if you want to understand what asexual people are going through and be an ally to the community. We hope this article has been helpful and informative!

RELATED | Is Jughead From Riverdale Asexual?
August 3, 2022