Have you ever noticed your boyfriend’s libido isn’t what is used to be? Yeah, me too. But believe it or not, it’s not the end of the world — sometimes our sexual appetite is absent, and that’s okay.

For many men, sex rules the relationship, so when it stops, we’re shocked! We rationalize and wonder why we’re not getting it on. What went wrong?

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In doing so, it’s important to remember it’s not always about you, so when assessing the situation, avoid saying the following to your fellow:

“Are you cheating on me?”

Your man already feels bad, trust me when I say do not make him feel accused as well. It’s his prerogative not to be in the mood, and it doesn’t mean he’s getting his kicks with someone else. We all have those moments and if infidelity is the first thing you think about, then you ought to check yourself — not him.

“I can just get myself off. It’s fine.”

You don’t need to tell him this. You can do it in silence. When a man hears this from his boyfriend, it’s a dig. I’m a fan of being passive aggressive at times, but not when it comes to matters of the d*ck. Don’t drag it on and on and on; it’s cool, you can get off yourself, and he won’t have to know.

“Am I not doing it for you anymore?”

This is a way to corner him, and no matter what he says it’s going to be something you’re not going to like. Don’t turn an ant hill into an awkward cliff.

“Do you think there’s an issue?”

Sexual dysfunction is a real thing, so be wary if you bring it up. Don’t suggest he has an issue because one night he didn’t feel like having sex. S.D. is something many guys deal with in the world — don’t get him paranoid or make him feel less of a man because you want to have sex.