Tag: HIV

In her new memoir Matriarch, 71-year-old designer and matriarch Tina Knowles opens up with humor, heart, and unflinching honesty about her extraordinary life — and the extraordinary people who helped shape it, particularly her beloved relative Johnny.

For longtime fans of Beyoncé, Uncle Johnny is far from a footnote. He’s the vibrant spirit honored in Renaissance, the Grammy-winning singer’s 2022 disco-infused celebration of queer Black joy and liberation. But in Matriarch, readers finally get to know the man behind the myth — through the eyes of the woman who loved him most.

“He was my best friend, my protector,” Knowles says in an interview with Out. “And I was his.”

A Southern Childhood with a Creative Spark

Knowles takes readers back to her childhood in Galveston, Texas, during the civil rights era — a place and time where being different could mean danger. Yet, even as a self-described hyperactive kid with what she now recognizes as undiagnosed ADHD, she found connection and purpose in her bond with Johnny.

“We were the two rebellious ones,” she recalls. “We didn’t fit in, and we didn’t care. One day our hair would be green, the next orange. We wore wild clothes and put on drag shows in our living room. We just existed in our own little world.”

That world blossomed into a lifelong creative partnership. Knowles credits Johnny with helping her find her calling in fashion — starting with crafting dresses for drag queens in Galveston. “That’s how I got started sewing. With him,” she writes.

Discovering Safe Spaces — and Disco Dance Floors

Knowles’ memoir also tells the story of how she helped Johnny find community at a time when queerness had to exist in the shadows. At just 17, she sought out Galveston’s gay scene so Johnny wouldn’t feel alone once she left for college. That search led them to Kon Tiki, a discreet local gay bar that became a formative experience.

“The outside looked like nothing,” she says. “But inside, it was magic — disco balls, lights, people just being free.”

What she didn’t notice right away? The dance floor was illuminated with neon penises.

“Johnny loved to tell that story,” she laughs. “He’d say, ‘And Mary was just dancing away, not realizing where she was!’”

A Bond That Endured — and a Legacy That Lives On

Uncle Johnny’s joy, Knowles says, was contagious — but his battle with HIV was devastating. Diagnosed in 1997 with AIDS-related dementia, Johnny passed away the following year, just as Beyoncé’s career with Destiny’s Child was taking off.

“It was one of the worst times of my life,” Knowles writes. “The stigma, the silence, the lack of access to care — it was heartbreaking.”

She recounts how Johnny, even in hospice, remained a light to those around him, while also recalling the painful reality of patients whose families had abandoned them.

“One young man thought I was his mother,” Knowles says. “Just because my voice reminded him of her. That broke me.”

His death came on July 29, 1998 — just months after Destiny’s Child dropped their debut album. Beyoncé would go on to honor his legacy in countless ways, from a shoutout in the song “Heated” to a deeply personal speech at the 2019 GLAAD Awards.

And in 2022, Renaissance was released on the 24th anniversary of his passing.

“He always used to say, ‘I deserve to be famous,’” Knowles remembers. “And he was right. He did. Now he’s finally getting his flowers.”

The Book Behind the Book — And Maybe Another?

Matriarch spans over 500 pages — pared down from Knowles’ original 1,000-page draft. But she hints there’s still more to say, especially when it comes to Johnny.

 

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“I might have to do a whole Johnny book,” she teases. “There’s just so much love there, and so many stories that deserve to be told.”

In her writing process, Knowles says she confronted old traumas and began to heal. “I didn’t even realize some of it was trauma. I just thought it was life. But writing this helped me understand — and gave me a way to make things right.”

A Family Built on Love and Glitter

The memoir is filled with stories of laughter and resilience, including one about Johnny’s longtime partner, Peanut — “the love of his life,” Knowles says. They were never married legally, but in every other sense, they were a committed couple.

“Johnny got to experience real love,” she says. “And I thank God for that.”

In true Knowles fashion, even the light-hearted gets love. She shares behind-the-scenes moments from Beyoncé’s “Freakum Dress” music video, remembering how she sewed outfits on the spot for her daughter — all while celebrating the inclusion of queer Black men on screen.

“I didn’t even realize that was the first time a lot of people saw that representation,” she says. “It makes me proud now. And tired,” she laughs, “because Beyoncé still expects me to whip up dresses out of nowhere.”

A Call to Share Our Stories

As LGBTQ+ rights face renewed attacks across the U.S., Knowles says it’s more important than ever to document our own histories — especially those that have been ignored.

“We’re seeing our history being erased,” she says. “Write your stories. Even if it’s just for your family, your kids, your legacy. It helps you heal.”

Knowles hopes Matriarch will be part of that healing — not just for herself, but for anyone who’s ever felt like an outsider.

“I get messages from young men who say, ‘I never had that kind of love and protection, but it feels good to know that someone did,’” she says. “And I tell them — you deserve it, too.”

Matriarch by Tina Knowles is available now. Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour kicks off April 28 in Los Angeles.