What is it like being the bigger/smaller one in the relationship?

Have you ever wondered how queer couples handle size gap? In this article, you’ll hear from 70 different queer men who explain how they handle the size gap in their relationships.

1. Anything more than a mouthful is a pain in the ass.

“Anything more than a mouthful is a pain in the ass.”
—Emma_James

2. When it comes to gay sex, there is absolutely such a thing as too big.

“When it comes to gay sex, there is absolutely such a thing as too big. I’d take a guy with a pencil d**k over a Corbin Fisher horse-c**k any day.”
—wildwalrusaur

3. Besides bragging rights and the look, it’s mainly just inconvenient to be bigger.

“I’m bigger by about 2″. It doesn’t bother him since he’s above-average himself. Besides bragging rights and the look, it’s mainly just inconvenient to be bigger.”
—SynFly

4. Most guys don’t take it well when the girl they’re hitting on has a bigger d**k than they do.

“I’m trans, and unfortunately also am well endowed. Most guys don’t take it well when the girl they’re hitting on has a bigger d**k than they do.”
—Penguin_Out_Of_A_Zoo

5. What I lack in d**k I make up for in ass.

“I’m a little below average, but my f**kbuddy has a HUGE d**k (like a baby/toddler arm) and at first it was intimidating, and but he didn’t seem to care, so neither did I. And he’s a total top and I’m like 90% bottom anyway. Plus, what I lack in d**k I make up for in ass ;)”
—2hoodrich4me

6. Taking a twelver in the stank tank ain’t no small feat and that ain’t no lie.

“Taking a twelver in the stank tank ain’t no small feat and that ain’t no lie. But if ya eat real good an heavy the night before – something like giblets and gravy or tuna melts, and ya push real hard back on em and have em punch your ribs a little, you can fit just about anything up ‘er I reckon.”
—dwarvenchaos

7. It’s like cars: it doesn’t matter if it’s a hatchback or a limo, if it’s pretty I’ll take it for a ride.

“I’m gay and have two boyfriends. I’m the ‘big’ one (about 2 inches bigger than one and 3.5 bigger than the other). I don’t actually mind a smaller D**k as long as its shaped nice. It’s like cars: it doesn’t matter if it’s a hatchback or a limo, if it’s pretty I’ll take it for a ride. I’m a top so I just have to go slow and easy at the start and I usually get no complaints. One of my boys gets real self-conscious about it and I feel a bit bad, but I can’t really do anything about it. I’d like to reassure him because he does those self-deprecating jokes about his size that we all know mask a pained truth, but it’s hard (Heh) to figure out what to say. I just usually hug him and blow him to make him feel better. The weird one is the other one who just talks about it all the time. He compliments it, says he loves it, tells people about it(ugh), and just stares at it sometimes. It’s unnerving for 2 reasons. I’m not British but have that quality of the Brit’s wherein I can’t take a compliment. I honestly never know what to say and just end up uncomfortable with all the attention. Also, I’m a huge guy. I’m 6’8″ tall and over 200 lbs. so having a lengthy lad ladle doesn’t look that impressive. It just sort of fits me so I’m pretty sure it’s nothing special. Getting praise heaped on me for something that’s just as proportionate as my ears is a little weird.”
—intrebox

8. I’m the smaller guy by a few inches and I love it, pretty much his bitch.

“I’m the smaller guy by a few inches and I love it, pretty much his bitch. Obviously he’s the top. It’s pretty cool though, both comfortable.”
—Inadecat

9. I think gay guys prefer a prettier d**k over a huge one.

“Like everyone has said on this thread, it doesn’t matter too much. I think gay guys prefer a prettier d**k over a huge one. There are plenty of eggplants that look rotten or distorted and I’d prefer a smaller and prettier one any day.”
—revere2323

10. To be honest, it’s a relief to be the smaller endowed one.

“To be honest, it’s a relief to be the smaller endowed one. Most guys have trouble with xl d***s. They love to get topped by me because it isn’t intimidating. One guy said to me, ‘what a relief, after he saw mine.” I’m 6’3″ so he thought I’d be packing heavy. I used to be self-conscious about it but honestly it has become a selling point. Especially for guys who want their first-time anal experience to be smooth sailing. I don’t even worry anymore about telling guys. One guy I am friends with told me only big d***s get laid a lot, I couldn’t help but smile and nod. I have lots of repeat business as it were. I have only had one dude turn me down on size alone and he wasn’t a decent dude anyway it turned out.”
—thisismachaut

11. Yay! ….wait

“Sometimes, you have the bigger d**k, and you’re like ‘Yay! ….wait.’

And sometimes, they have the bigger d**k, and you’re like ‘Yay! ….wait.’”
—NeverEnoughMuppets

12. It’s either a huge turn-on for the other guy or he becomes a little insecure.

“I’m a bit larger than average which catches guys off guard since I’m usually the bottom and I’m pretty short (~7.5″, 5’7″) I find that it’s either a huge turn-on for the other guy or he becomes a little insecure (especially if he’s a ‘total top’).”
—TattooSadness

13. It’s only frustrating when they’re girthier, because it’s more work to give a blow job.

“I’ve never been with anyone longer than me, but I have been with people girthier. In the end it’s only frustrating because when they’re girthier, it’s more work to give a blow job because you have to be more aware of your teeth/everything else, but by and large it’s never been an issue that comes up (well…).”
—CSUSBro

14. I’m the smaller one but it doesn’t bother me much because I’m taller in height.

“I’m the smaller one but it doesn’t bother me much because I’m taller in height. I’m 5’10 he’s around 5’7 haha. His member however is about 3 inches longer so it’s a pretty big difference.”
—Socialist7

15. Other than the initial ‘Mine’s bigger than yours!’ it’s fine.

“Other than the initial ‘Mine’s bigger than yours!’ it’s fine. Really depends on who has it, and how they use it.”
—RRC90Shaw

16. Doesn’t really matter too much.

“Doesn’t really matter too much. My last boyfriend had a smaller one than I did, but I’m a big old bottom so he always topped. It was basically the perfect fit for me though, I’ve only ever c*m hands free with him. He was also three inches shorter in height than me. I’m decently tall so I’m bigger than a lot of guys I’m with. I never mind. And when they are bigger, Woo Hoo!”
—caln93

17. Unless the guy has a 2-inch dk or a 12-inch ck, it’s not generally an issue.

“Unless the guy has a 2-inch d**k or a 12-inch c**k, it’s not generally an issue. With that in mind, it’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

Unless you’re a size queen most guys are comfortable with anything between the 4-6 inch average for anal. A man’s prostate is only a few inches up their bum so that’s where you’ll get ultimate pleasure. Seriously, straight guys are missing out so much on mind-blowing orgasms because of the taboo aspect of playing with their ass.

I’ve been both the smaller and bigger guy in my relationships and it’s never been an issue in either situation. With that in mind, bigger guys tend to be a bit lazier when it comes to sex, while smaller guys are a lot more enthusiastic. The smaller guy will definitely not want to let you see them flaccid, while the bigger guy won’t usually have a problem with it.

In terms of power dynamics, I would say 95% of gay guys wouldn’t think that having a bigger c**k makes you more of a man than your partner.”
—frida_peron

18. I think it only matters if one p***s is significantly above or below average.

“I think it only matters if one p***s is significantly above or below average. Less than 4.5 inches is disappointing and greater than 8 inches is impossible to deal with without serious prep (stretching a few times a day for several days). But if we’re both average size, then it doesn’t matter.

For reference, I tried to hook up with a guy with a 9-inch d**k a few times. I wasn’t able take it, but he seemed really happy that I would even try. I suspect he doesn’t get to top often.”
—dameprimus

19. It’s just a fact of life.

“It’s just a fact of life. We’re both vers, but he ends up topping more than I do because he’s got a smaller d**k (so, there’s less prep work required and less recuperation time afterwards)”
—loki8481

20. It’s OK because I’m the one almost 100% in the bottom bunk.

“Being a tall guy (6’1) with a shorter one, and BF being shorter in size but longer dong, it’s OK because I’m the one almost 100% in the bottom bunk, so there hasn’t been any issues in bed at all.”
—JVC2

21. Usually doesn’t matter but some straight guys looking to experiment have gotten scared off haha.

“I’m bi and fairly well endowed. Usually doesn’t matter but some straight guys looking to experiment have gotten scared off haha.”
—canihavealittlepiece

22. I’m about the same length as my current partner, but he’s substantially girthier.

“I’m about the same length as my current partner, but he’s substantially girthier. The guys we’ve hooked up with have both noted we’re both ‘big’ but based on the statistics we’re average in length. Still need to get around to getting a good girth measurement for myself, but I generally have other priorities when I have an erection.”
—dacemcgraw

23. Knowing I don’t have a huge d**k makes me work harder at being good in bed.

“I’ve been in both situations (I think I’m pretty average size-wise) and it never really came up or mattered. Plus, knowing I don’t have a huge d**k makes me work harder at being good in bed, which seems to have paid off so
¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
—szol

24. I’m usually the bigger guy and I get no complaints.

“I’m usually the bigger guy and I get no complaints. Although I did have this one bottom who was VERY well endowed. It was fun to watch bounce around.”
—Rabgix

25. Although as a bottom, I actually like to avoid a larger p***s for comfort reasons.

“I have been always larger (I sit around 7.5), and it was interesting for me starting out because I always thought that I just magically found guys only with smaller members (granted, I most often end up with white, Asian, or Latino men). I didn’t realize until after dating a bit and some research that I was actually larger than average which was a cool little surprise I guess.

Even though I’m open to flip flopping, I basically bottom all the time since guys seem to prefer it. A lot of guys are really into having a bottom with a larger member (and apparently I have a really nice ass, but I’m not a butt guy). So it works out pretty well for the most part.

The only major drawback I could say would be that if a guy isn’t experienced enough, when they’re giving head it can be a little lackluster. Other than that, do recommend. (Although as a bottom, I actually like to avoid a larger p***s for comfort reasons.)”
—OroroLoL

26. Believe it or not, p***s size isn’t always at the top of the list of worries with a gay couple.

“I don’t think we’ve ever bothered to measure in the 13 years we’ve been together. Believe it or not, p***s size isn’t always at the top of the list of worries with a gay couple.”
—acidfusion

27. It’s not an issue. Mine’s bigger and his is smaller and that’s it.

“It’s not an issue. Mine’s bigger and his is smaller and that’s it.”
—Jovial_Bard

28. It’s more of a chore having the bigger p***s.

“It’s more of a chore having the bigger p***s.

I’m more of a top, whilst me partner is the bottom, however, ‘getting it in’ is more difficult for him. It’s not such much the length that’s the issue, it’s the girth.

My partner has admitted mine is bigger than his, and he never seems bothered about it. However, and I’d never say this to him, I do wish his was at least the same size as mine.”
—harmyb

29. It’s more important that the other guy knows what to do with it!

“I’m gay but I’m a Redditor, if you know what I mean, so I can’t speak from experience, but I never really think about p***s size when thinking about this kind of stuff. I’ve heard it’s actually pretty rare for people to be that hung up (as it were) on the size of the p***s – it’s more important that the other guy knows what to do with it!

Tbh I’m just posting so I can save this thread. It’s not often that there’s a Reddit thread this big where people can talk about gay sex and just call it sex.”
—Homusubi

30. Size is almost never a topic of conversation.

“Surprisingly, it’s never been an issue. I’ve been with bigger guys than me and smaller guys than me, and honestly size is almost never a topic of conversation.”
—thetexasunicorn

31. I like a bottom with a huge flapping all about d**k.

“The guy I’m with has 10″ and I’m only at 6 maybe 6.5 on a good day. The first thing he ever told me when we met was ‘I’m into guys with big d***s,’ despite him being a total top. I won’t lie, it made me a little self-conscious, but I’m a pretty secure guy so I didn’t make an issue out of it. As a result, he’s never voice a single complaint, if he’s even had one, so I never worried about being significantly smaller….

I asked him why he prefers bigger d***s. His was his response:

‘I like a bottom with a huge flapping all about d**k. Sure. We all like that. Lol. Are you bored or are you horny? Lol. Where did that come from? Haha.’

So I told him ‘reddit.’ He said go to bed.”
—tonybenwhite

32. I seldom find a man comfortable taking me in.

“I tend to have the larger p***s. It’s not in length but mass. I seldom find a man comfortable taking me in, without a lot of work. It’s a f*****g bummer but I make it work.”
—demonchefofportland

33. I just love d***s and they come in all sizes.

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love d***s and they come in all sizes. In a real relationship, you love the person and as a result their d**k is pretty damn amazing regardless of size. I personally haven’t been with anyone much bigger than me, but my bf has been lucky enough to shack up with some huge dudes in the past. He says playing with them has been fun, but at the end of the day it doesn’t compare to sex with someone you love. I have to agree with that as well.”
—jocksj

34. For some reason I’ve always been with guys with really big d***s.

“For some reason I’ve always been with guys with really big d***s. I don’t mind so much but it is pretty crazy being able to compare. It doesn’t really make me feel inadequate as I liked playing with theirs a lot more anyway. It’s not until you see a few that you realize just how enormous some of them get.

There was one guy who said he was 9.5 inches, I kid you not that thing hung downwards like an elephant’s trunk. Lots of fun for oral but anal was a no-no.”
—Euphoricbadger

35. I’m hesitant to get into a literal d**k measuring contest.

“We’re the same size, but he’s utterly convinced that his is smaller. Nothing I can say will change his mind, and I’m hesitant to get into a literal d**k measuring contest.”
—phlap

36. Members of Clan Homo tend to appreciate the person attached more than the Floppy Johnson itself.

“If you’re speaking from a psychological perspective, there’s no real difference. As in, I don’t feel any sort of ‘power’ over him because my bountiful gift to humanity. I remember when I was pretending to be straight in college it was like if a guy had a bigger wang then he was seen as ‘more of a man’ (don’t know if that’s still the case – I’m so far removed from the heterosexual mindset at this point that I forgot straight men found breast attractive and that women had periods until a friend mentioned it a few days ago…and I’m a nurse). Members of Clan Homo, however, tend to appreciate the person attached more than the Floppy Johnson itself.”
—hashtagfatass

37. I’m about an inch shorter than my husband.

“I’m about an inch shorter than my husband. But I am 5’1 and he is 6’2,” and with the height difference, his d**k is about the length of my forearm. So I take it 100% of the time because that thing is huge and wonderful.”
—dinosaregaylikeme

38. I’m smaller, and I (we) couldn’t care less.

“It’s REALLY not a deal for relationships. I’m smaller, and I (we) couldn’t care less. However, if you are looking on Grindr it’s a whole other story.”
—Konowl

39. Having the bigger p***s is like having the better car.

“Having the bigger p***s is like having the better car: some people are really into it; some people accept it for what it is. Either way, they usually want a ride.”
—hylianbarista

40. When we first got together he kept complimenting me and telling me he wished he was bigger than he was.

“I’m bigger than my partner by about an inch and a half – 2 inches. I think I’m actually more uncomfortable about it than he is. When we first got together he kept complimenting me and telling me he wished he was bigger than he was. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I was flattered, but having concerns about my p***s size for a long time I made it abundantly clear how much I didn’t care how big he was. He isn’t small by any means but I’m evidently bigger, so I make sure to pay extra attention to his needs and make him comfortable. My c**k has never gotten me a job. My c**k has never helped me win the lottery. I tell him this. I didn’t choose to have a bigger c**k; I see no reason to brag. You play the hand you’re dealt. I love him for who he is. I wouldn’t want to date someone with a massive c**k, his is perfect for me.”
—OldWorldNomad

41. I usually have the bigger one but I’m also usually the bottom.

“I usually have the bigger one but I’m also usually the bottom. The only bigger guy I’ve had was my ex and while it was a nice surprise, it wasn’t a deciding factor in dating him. As long as I can feel it in there when we do things, I don’t care much, but bigger is almost always nicer to play with. Kind of like tits… (Not everyone likes big boobs but it sure does seem most of the time straight guys like them bigger).”
—carlosfhdez

42. It’s turned into kind of a joke where I talk about my d**k being bigger whenever he gets too cocky (heh).

“I have the bigger d**k in my relationship (mine’s around 6.5 and his is 5 inches maybe a little more). It’s turned into kind of a joke where I talk about my d**k being bigger whenever he gets too cocky (heh). He doesn’t acknowledge it much except when we have drunk sex then he talks about how nice my d**k is and how he’s jealous of me. He never admits it when he’s sober but it makes me feel good.

Funny thing is he always wants to top so I’m normally the bottom with a bigger d**k (though he bottoms sometimes). It’s really apparent when we frot (straight people: it’s when you put your d***s together) but I kind of like having the bigger d**k. Overall it’s not huge deal but it can lead to the smaller one being envious.”
—specfagular

43. It becomes a novelty. Fun to look at but not much to do with it.

“It becomes a novelty. Fun to look at but not much to do with it.

I’ve been relegated to being a bottom because topping people is usually impossible because they just can’t take it.

God the humblebrag is strong with this post. I’ll see myself out.”
—Need_a_Ladder

44. I’m bi, and I’m super turned on by dudes with small d***s.

“I’m bi, and I’m super turned on by dudes with small d***s. I date a guy with a pretty small (probably between 3 and 4 inches) c**k and it’s great for me. Super turns me on, and I can suck it and take it in the ass like a champ. I have a pretty large c**k (7.5 and pretty thick) so the contrast is pretty intense.

We don’t talk about it a lot but he knows damn well I love his c**k and that’s what I was originally looking for. Sometimes I hold them together and jerk them which is hot AF seeing the contrast.”
—evil_tugboat_capn

45. I’m a total bottom so I love the whole psychologic element of being smaller than him.

“My partner’s d**k is pretty massive… about 9″ and thick, whereas I’m about 6″ (at a push) and not as thick.

I’m a total bottom so I love the whole psychologic element of being smaller than him d**k wise as well as being shorter… it plays well into my f****d-up fantasies ????”
—Pazzam

46. I fall in love with a person, not with their genitals.

“Honestly, no big deal for me, I fall in love with a person, not with their genitals, however, I do specify that I am strictly a top, since I don’t enjoy anal stimulation, respect that, and we are cool.

Sure, you can play with my butt and stuff, but the moment you stick something in, that is the moment you get something bitten off.

I have noticed some guys get intimidated by mine, but I am very gentle, and if they don’t want to do anything, fine by me, we can cuddle and share hj/bj, and I will be happy as long as we both enjoy it and cuddle.”
—Aedrian87

47. I’m dating a trans woman whose is 100% female except for her p***s, which is just over 9 inches.

“I have always been happy with my d**k. It’s about 6 fully erect. I’m dating a trans woman whose is 100% female except for her p***s, which is just over 9 inches.

At first it was a shock but I love it and she can’t take much bigger than me anyways so it is perfect.”
—non_lurker

48. As long as it’s not freakishly large or small, I don’t think most guys really care.

“It’s never been an issue. As long as it’s not freakishly large or small, I don’t think most guys really care.

I think it’s probably the way a lot of straight guys view breast size. Like really large breasts, yay, but average and smaller breasts are still yay. I’ve never heard of a guy who was about to hookup but then decided not to when he found out his partner was a b cup.

P***s just defaults to good for me.”
—PM_me_yr_dicks

49. It’s never been a big deal. I just ask to bottom more.

“It’s never been a big deal. I just ask to bottom more. When I feel like being top, he technically can’t complain because he knows I have to take in more than he does, we don’t force each other into anything though.

I’ve always opened up different stages of a relationship by putting my hands on his shoulders and leading with ‘Full disclosure…’ then saying whatever I have to say. With my current bf it was ‘Full disclosure, your d**k is bigger.’ and I hadn’t even seen it yet, it was just a reasonable/easy conclusion since I had seen him lie on his back once and the outline was pretty substantial. It’s just an easy way for me to own the situation and get ahead of it. If I wait for the ‘reveal moment’ then I might get a sense of shyness.”
—Tnargkiller

50. I prefer smaller guys.

“I prefer smaller guys, and I’m probably average in length (maybe?) and definitely not as thick as what I assume is average. Deepthroating~ a 3-4″ d**k is super fun, so yeah, gimme some of that. BUT if I’m drunk and you’re huge then you might have a chance.”
—gigemgay

51. I’d honestly prefer to swap some of my girth for either another inch of d**k or height.

“Mine’s slightly longer/thicker than his is, I’d honestly prefer to swap some of my girth for either another inch of d**k or height. Getting it inside him takes planning, preparation and poppers help a lot. Not that I’m particularly thick, but he’s got a really small build and a ridiculously tight arse.”
—TheBabyEatingBishop

52. For hookups, guys want the challenge of taking a massive c**k like a badge of honor so I’m usually rejected for lack of length.

“I’m usually the smaller one. For hookups, guys want the challenge of taking a massive c**k like a badge of honor so I’m usually rejected for lack of length. Not all guys are Size Queens though. These are the ones that like me and out common interests that lead to a relationship. I found that where I lack in size, I tend to make up with other stuff (oral, body massage, rimming…). Life has its balance I guess.
I also noticed hung guys rely solely on their d**k so they tend to be anticlimactic. Their sheer size hits the spot by happenstance, but no skill is involved. These are the times I pretend to enjoy the session like I’m trying to win an Emmy.”
—Orylus

53. My partner is the long one but I’m the thick guy so I can take his no problem, but he has a difficult time taking mine.

“My partner is the long one but I’m the thick guy so I can take his no problem, but he has a difficult time taking mine. Lol even sucking it, he can’t go deep throat cuz it won’t make past the teeth. So I bottom more than I’d like to. He does try, though.”
—bayareabear

54. The only issue we have when it comes to size is that he requires a lot of prep and recovery time.

“I’m a top with a large p***s (8.5-9) and my husband is a bottom that’s around 6. The only issue we have when it comes to size is that he requires a lot of prep and recovery time. It doesn’t affect our relationship otherwise in terms of masculinity or any such nonsense. We split chores and house roles evenly and most people assume we’re vers/flip because we are both considered masculine.”
—vcarw77

55. It doesn’t bother me at all. It suits my personality because I’m a submissive effeminate bottom.

“It doesn’t bother me at all. It suits my personality because I’m a submissive effeminate bottom. I generally present myself as androgynous or as a feminine male. Once in a while I present as female.

I generally go for dominate masculine guys with bigger dongs. They’re either the older daddy types, macho protector types, or bad boy types. I only like tops. It wrecks my perception of them if they want to bottom.

A lot of the guys I go out with are older than me and from a generation when gays were persecuted, so they present themselves as straight men and pursue more effeminate guys. My relationships tend to have a lot more in common with stereotypical straight relationships.

About the presenting as female thing, I had a phase where I thought I was transsexual, but the reality is I’m not really. I’m probably what’s known as gender-fluid.

If I were more inclined to be a dominate top, then I would probably have a lot of problems having a small d**k, but fortunately that’s not me.”
—has_a_3_inch_p***s

56. He’s considerably bigger than me, I don’t mind it, I get to be the bottom.

“He’s considerably bigger than me, I don’t mind it, I get to be the bottom. Yay for me. I would love to be as big as him though.”
—bipolar-bear

57. It has zero bearing on anything, to be honest.

“Smaller than some of the guys I’ve hooked up with, bigger in all dimensions than my boyfriend. It has zero bearing on anything, to be honest.

As far as I’m concerned, anything over 8 inches is too much for anal. Dunno if you’ve ever been f****d, but I don’t like getting my guts re-arranged when I do. Size queens, y’all are weird.”
—Arden-Vaul

58. As a bottom, I really don’t like big d***s as I find them more painful than pleasurable.

“My husband’s is bigger than mine. But he thought until recently mine was bigger. It was entertaining. I think it’s because we view our own as smaller than it actually is because the angle we see it at is misleading. There is some science behind it. Mine’s a lot thicker though. I’ve never had a situation in the past where it matters though. As a bottom, I really don’t like big d***s as I find them more painful than pleasurable and big d***d men don’t feel like they need to perform because of the size of their member. The smaller d***d guy who ever f****d me was actually really good in bed. I have this theory that the smaller a p***s has a direct correlation to how good they are in bed because they care more since they have to compensate for smaller size.”
—blackoutstin

59. Ex had a huge one. Had never slept with anyone else and thought mine was tiny for years.

“Ex had a huge one. Had never slept with anyone else and thought mine was tiny for years. I’ve since been bigger than everyone else I’ve been with. Definitely been a confidence boost! It’s all relative.”
—BoyKingOfSweden

60. I have no pain tolerance, so I’m pretty much the only one who can top.

“My boyfriend is huge in both length and girth, which I love, but I have no pain tolerance, so I’m pretty much the only one who can top. I have no body shame, since I’m a nudist, and he seems perfectly content. My friends say I have an attractive body anyway, so maybe that’s a factor.”
—JackBond1234

61. I’m the top and have a smaller d**k.

“I’m the top and have a smaller d**k. But I’m still the top, which is the more important power/relationship issue.”
—Helmet-GLA

62. I’ve noticed in gay relationships there often sort of seems to be an alpha and beta.

“This is a legit question, is it common for one partner to catch most of the time or do both people catch the same amount.

I’ve noticed in gay relationships there often sort of seems to be an alpha and beta, I’ve assumed the beta does most of the catching.

Also how common is it to date a dude or hook up just to figure out he is too hung for you, I guess just more lube and jump on.

Also, girth or length? Most girls say girth.”
—Tgaussssss

63. It doesn’t really matter who is bigger to me, I just want to enjoy the sex.

“I’m 5’7″ and usually bottom, I’m 8 inches long and my bf is 6’3″ and 7.5 inches long but he’s thicker than I am so one of us is longer the other is thicker and it’s a win/win that way I think. Either way it doesn’t really matter who is bigger to me, I just want to enjoy the sex.”
—redskylark9

64. I’m the smaller one, and my bf loves it!

“I’m the smaller one, and my bf loves it! I was once a bit insecure about it for societal reasons, now I generally don’t mind. My larger-in-every-sense bf loves bottoming and he seems to get off by my size a lot, which makes me feel great!

In contrast, his is pretty big and many of his previous partners and myself have a lot of trouble with it, which actually makes him feel insecure. They’re nice to look at, very nice, but huge d***s are just so difficult.”
—forgetwhattheysay

Related | What is the Average Penis Size?

65. Whatever makes you happy.

“My boyfriend and I are thankfully about the same length and girth, both trending on the bigger side hard. He’s a bit girthier than me but I’m longer. We’re both show-ers. Whoever said size doesn’t matter is well… not us. He’s mostly bottom and I’m top/vers, but I don’t think we’d be with each other if either of us were smaller than we currently are. That said, we’re pretty involved in leather/kink stuff so I guess YMMV. Whatever makes you happy. I love reaching over and grabbing his big hog and playing with it to wake him up, and he’ll do the same thing to me if he wakes up first.”
—ottereater

66. I’m a severe bottom with an 8″ dong.

“I’m a severe bottom with an 8″ dong. It’s awful to me. Other guys seem to enjoy the thought of a bottom with a big d**k, though.”
—SoulMystique

67. My boyfriend has a bigger c**k and sometimes I get a bit jealous, cuz it’s just so nice to look at.

“I’ve been with a fair number of guys sexually, and I’m of average size so I’ve been both bigger and smaller than some. It’s never been too much of an issue. My boyfriend has a bigger c**k and sometimes I get a bit jealous, cuz it’s just so nice to look at haha, but it’s never caused a problem for us. We are both versatile and he insists that my average-sized c**k is more than enough. In my experience, gay guys often like big d***s but don’t get disappointed when we are with someone who hasn’t got a gigantic one.”
—web_head91

68. I have to do anal with half a chubby otherwise he complains.

“I have to do anal with half a chubby otherwise he complains.”
—xaeravoq3

79. I’m a bottom so when the other guy ends up having a bigger d**k I’m like ka-ching!.

“I’m a good size, like 6.5/7 inches. I’m a bottom so when the other guy ends up having a bigger d**k I’m like ka-ching!

That being said smaller d***s are cool too (within a reasonable size) but the main thing is that they’re pretty. I’ve seen some weird smaller d***s and some gross big ones.”
—littlelakes

70. I’ve always been the bigger guy and all the smaller guys got hard way quicker and stayed that way.

“Maybe it’s just me but I’ve always been the bigger guy and all the smaller guys got hard way quicker and stayed that way while I took some work to get hard and pretty much need constant attention to stay hard. I’ve always been incredibly jealous of that. Side note: the size difference makes for some good frotting.”
—Helplessromantic

70 Gay Men on How They Handle ‘Size Gap’